Moody aint the word

I don't know what is going on around me. My kids are little bags of opposition, my husband is just oblivious, and I'm definitely not a happy camper.
I recently found out that someone I knew and respected passed on. I don't know whether I want to cry or be angry because I found out by accident. Homeschooling is not going well for my older son. I just realised that he is failing two subjects because he is lazy and I've been too lax about his studies. My middle son is acting even more obnoxious than usual (and that's with him on the meds), and my younger son is refusing to potty train and keeps being destructive.
I really want to just skip Christmas this year. I feel very disconnected from reality. Maybe I'm going through my midlife crisis, and that would be fine except I'm only 36yrs old. Should I go out and buy a Harley? My older son would suggest a corvette instead.
I think I will go play Christmas music and bawl my eyes out. This is definitely starting to turn out to be a blue Christmas for me.

Black Friday=Epic Fail!!!

Every year I go out on Black Friday with my friend Amy.  We usually do really well, despite the smelly, rude people we encounter at the mall (most of them shopping in Macy's)  Well much to our surprise, this was not meant to be today.  The stores were EMPTY.  Like a ghost town in some.  The mall was just somewhat busier.  Did all the crazy people go shopping last night?  Did we miss some secret shoppers sale because we chose to go at 4am instead of at midnight?  And not only were the stores empty, the sales sucked too!  I usually finish the majority of my shopping in one day, but today was different.  It looks like it will be a very Amazon.com Christmas this year.  I hope the UPS drivers are getting ready for me, because I still have a lot to purchase (and a lot to return because I found it cheaper online when I returned home :(
Did you go out shopping today?  And how did you fare?  I wonder if many people are having the same issue that I did.

Happy Thanksgiving :)

Today is the day I have been planning for. The day I have been dreading. I'm going to cook all this food, and I will only eat a little of it today. You spend hours and hours of prepping and cooking, and when the meal is served all you want to do is eat a piece of bread and go to bed.
On the upside- I will not have to cook for at least two weeks. Leftovers are my favourite part of this holiday. And making turkey soup is the crowning finale of the leftovers.
Alright, I think I'm ready. Come on Thanksgiving, I'm ready for you. Let's get this party started!!
Wishing you all a very safe and joyous Thanksgiving. Filled with family and friends. And if you would rather not celebrate with others, you can always use one of the excuses from my previous post 😁

New Holiday Excuses for not coming over for Thanksgiving

Here are a list of excuses you may have heard or used to get out of going somewhere for Thanksgiving.
1-I want to stay home by myself and reflect on the year.
2-I hurt myself and I am too hopped up on percoset/vikaden/codine/crack cocaine/etc to be social.
3-So and so wasn't invited, so I will stay home with them.  Don't want them to be alone on a holiday!
4-You live too far away, and the kids can't sit long enough to handle the ride.
5-My (insert name here) only eats my cooking.
6- The kids don't really like turkey and the sides.  We will just grab McDonald's.
7-We don't DO Thanksgiving.
8-Don't have anyone to take care of my (cat, dog, kid, elderly neighbour,tarantula,etc)
9- I NEED to stay home and watch a football game, paint dry, leaves fall off the trees,etc.
And finally:
10- We really don't like you, but deal with you because we have to, no hard feelings or anything but we would rather douse ourselves in gravy and jump into a pit of angry and hungry rat dogs and scorpions, while doing the jig, naked!

As the holidays approach- a ranting of holidays past,of sorts.

I love the feeling of the holidays.  The air is different, the people a bit nicer, and my house a lot more chaotic.  I love to cook, especially for Thanksgiving.  I always make a ton of food for my small house (there are 5 of us plus the MIL), just in case all the people that I invite over, would actually come over.

When I was a young child, I used to love going to my grandparents house for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, hanging with my cousins, eating the great food (American and Spanish- Oh it makes my mouth water just remembering it).  I loved that feeling of belonging to something greater.  It was always about being with each other, not the presents (because in actuality, mine usually sucked anyway-never anything that I wanted, just whatever was on sale).  But I looked past that because it wasn't the reason why we were gathered.  So when we started our family, I always wanted to do the same thing- invite all of my friends and family over so we could be together to eat, drink and watch the kids be crazy.

Now don't get me wrong,  I love spending time with my little family.  I also came from a family of 5.  But I always had my Nannie, or uncles or mom's friends come over to our house either on or the day before or the day after the holiday.  We don't really do that now.  Everyone is too busy with their own lives, or we just are not on the priority list.  I'm lucky to get a phone call or a card from some of our relatives, the acknowledgement that you exist, but are not worthy to belong to their special club.

So every year we invite friends or family, in hopes that I can relive the glorious days of old.  Some say they are coming and some say maybe, and others say "no" (my parents live in N.Y. and don't drive.)  I am always prepared, I go buy the biggest turkey I can find,  all ingredients for the sides and desserts, and I start prepping days in advance.  And then the phone calls come-"sorry, we changed our minds, maybe we will come for dessert"  or "sorry, we are going to stay home because I don't want to drive the 30mins it takes to get to you" or even better yet -"I don't celebrate the holidays, I just want to be by myself (my husband tried this one the first year we were dating, that sooo didn't fly with me)".  Well thanks, I now know why I gain about 40lbs during the holidays, it's because I refuse to let the food go to waste.

But, even though this happens EVERY DAMN YEAR, I still invite my friends and family over,  I still make enough food to feed and army,  I still crave the feeling of belonging to something other than my small family, for my kids to have the same experience. And I am still hopeful that someone might surprise me one day and just show up.  I might have a heart attack, but I"ll have one with a smile on my face :D
So, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  One filled with friends and family, no matter how big or small it may be.  This year I will try to be Thankful for the many blessings that have been bestowed unto me and my family, because that's what it really about!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

Today's Score

Today's score is an original composition called Echoes of Spike.  Please take a listen and let me know how you like it.  If you have the Scorch plugin in your browser you can also find it here at Score Exchange.

Knitting, an adventure

I am going to try to knit.  I can crochet pretty decently already and I have decided I need to broaden my horizons.  I have tried knitting before, with minimal success.  I can make a scarf, that is about my skill level with knitting.  Pathetic, I know, especially since I have made sweaters, nativities, blankets-all with crochet.  I feel like if I don't learn how to knit, I will become a yarn failure.  You may ask- how hard can it be?  You can do one, why can't you do the other?  I have this same problem with the piano.  I can play with one hand quite well-but get two hands together and all hell breaks loose!!  So, here I go, into the wild knitting yonder.  Hope I don't poke an eye out with the needles, they are mighty pointy :x